I remember a time when I was too little to know the meaning of being jealous. It used to be an uneasy feeling at the gut level that made it difficult for me to sleep without having dreams and difficult for me to understand. When you grow up it's easier to understand what's going on and you have control over it. A piece of advice: don't practice too much or you'll end up being just like me - I don't seem to feel a twinge of jealousy any more. I clearly remember a conversation I had with my best friend in high school (with whom I had to break up twice, no thrice, only to become the best of friends later on).
We are sitting in the canteen area and munching on the meager amount of chips left in the Lays packet. While we savor each bite we amuse ourselves with our passive observations of the senior boys who claim to have basket ball practice, flirting with the gang of girls in front of the canteen. Skirts seem shorter, shirts are no longer tucked in, ties and belts are loosened and other subtle differences can be noted if you know where to look out for it.
Best Friend: Hump! Just coz she's got it all she does not have to give a display of her "attitude"!
Me: That's a lot of pressure she's under. I mean, look at us! We don't have to stand there trying to impress those jerks and end up looking like jerks ourselves. Trust me, we are better off sitting here, talking to each other and completely at ease with ourselves.
Best Friend No.2 walks in the picture. She was the one among us trio who was street smart and acts tough and may be a little 'unconventional'.
Best Friend No. 2: Oh, well! I wouldn't mind being pretty and the Head Girl and under that kind of pressure.
BF1: Cut it out! We've got exams coming up and I want to get a 80% this time for the terminal exams! Want to beat the topper of the class if possible, too.
BF2: Ooooh, yes, yes! I want to prove the fact that I'm the best among my siblings.
Me: Pshak!!! You're siblings are several years younger than you. What's the point dudette! And just because you get the 1st rank once, doesn't mean you're the best in everything. I mean, most of those nerds out there don't seem to have that little thing we call common sense or genuine friends around them.
BF1: Reni, the grapes are sore, are they not? (BF2 giggles). You won't get anywhere if your not competitive, you bitch! (Being called "bitch" means BF1 is very fond of you).
I grin at them and I sit back because I feel all is good the way it is although my young teen spirit yearns for more freedom.
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