17 March 2010
I'm not a student anymore, nor have I joined a profession of a determined sort. I admit I've been quite useless but at the same time considered quite indispensable and having some kind of potential deep within by maybe another bunch of mostly strangers. I wake up each day wondering what exactly should I do to make myself content instead of making others happy for a change. The thought makes me blink and I wonder what made me feel so selfish and when will I start making my own decisions and working on them. I frown at myself while I look at myself brushing my teeth through the mirror and curse the extra pimples on my cheek and forehead - a fact that never used to bother me in the past. While I wander in the kitchen looking for my glass of tea and my share of breakfast I curse the fact that I wasn't born a boy. Breakfast would've been served and I would have the chance to actually go out there and look for a job instead of waiting for one to come my way. I sulk and grumble as I prepare myself something and I wonder, "What now?" I do the chopping and peeling and cleaning while my head throbs dully. I think to myself, "This is certainly not IT and I feel totally STUCK!" The day passes by and my mood improves but I lack the enthusiasm to actually do anything because I feel that everything I do is not important anymore and I'm abnormally quiet since I don't have anything to contribute in a conversation. I sigh to myself and finally admit to myself that something is wrong.
Posted by Reni at 7:53 AM