12 September 2009
Something has been disturbing me real bad lately (of course, other than the "early adulthood crisis" and mum's blabberings and the decision of what I am supposed to do next and holding on to the person I believe I am...). For a long time I could not put my finger on it, but now, I think is the right time to work it out and actually put it down in words.
I remember when I was little, I used to wonder why people thought too much and why they did it even when they were sure they would feel miserable in the end. I used to watch big bro immerse himself in books and brood over a lot of things, while big sis and me knew he was the most brightest among us and when his friends admired him and when my parents doted on their only son. I felt that all this love and admiration was lost on him and he somehow couldn't feel it coming from us. When time passed by he was still charming to me, although VERY BORING when he spoke about his great philosophical ideas (because it used to go over my head). I used to manage to cough when he cracked light-hearted jokes just to be polite. Well, after all the psychology I've studied, I know my bro's perfectly normal but he's suffering from what I'd wish to call the ' Good Thinker's Bug'. The bug had bitten him at a very young age and the illness makes ordinary things look boring, most people around not all that important, blocks out all the affection we feel for him and somehow makes him altogether cynical in his view of life. His mistake? - he thinks too much and he's good at it!
Another college mate I admire (most people either admired her or were jealous of her) is so successful in life now - working at a young age, independent, has the most charming smile, can capture you with her words, has a brain that can match Einstein's and was a rock n roll person during her school days. However, she too was bitten by the Bug somewhere at the end of her High School and WHAM!! everything was diffferent. Like as if, someone cruelly broke her rose-tinted glasses, threw it away and shoved her a black tinted one which she so innocently put on. Even now she's a legend in college because of the most astounding marks she got without putting in much effort. One day I decided to let her know that she was simply the best because I knew she hardly realised all this or maybe didn't care even though she knew. Chating with her made me realise that she was not doing all that well inspite of the fact that she was performing well in her high-class job. I noticed the symptoms and tried talking to her and changing her point of view. Since we weren't all that close during those college days and since I was talking like those shrinks she had consulted in the past, and since she was really cynical herself, I knew bringing about even a little difference would take ages. I stopped there but didn't give up. I won't give up because her only fault is that she thinks too much and she's good at it!
Another friend I only vaguely know but who makes me laugh, has this bug in him too. I simply couldn't imagine how he could be so BORED and LOUSY when he had that perfect sense of humour. Now I understand that it's not his fault and it's just that he thinks too much and he's good at it!
I've been going through a number of blogs at random just so that I'll have some food for thought and I can come up with a solution for these great thinkers. Most blogs I went through were simply great but had the heavy note of sarcasm and pessimism I thought could scare away a number of those around them or maybe dissappoint those who really love them. I'm not going to go ahead and preach for two reasons: Firstly, I'm not a good preacher and secondly, I'm sure people who can actually think will scoff at what I have to say.
Why then did I type in this post? To stress the fact that "Life is so beautiful and all we have to do is reach out to it!" What I just typed in sounds so lame and so simple that it's hard to believe but I know it's true. If someone out there starts talking about the pain and suffering and the war out there, and about how fake people are, I'd say being cynical is not going to help us go through all this, but hope can. Hope, a good sense of humour and love (a word I feel some of us use so casually without understanding the actual meaning.)
The Bug has bitten me too, sometime in the last 2 years but I refuse to succumb to it. I somehow think a lot nowadays and I sometimes feel I'm drowning. But I don't drown because I think too much but I'm not good at it! Moreover, there have been a few people who have unexpectedly come my way and showed me that life is not so bad altogether and that I should relax and not be too judgmental towards others, myself and towards life altogether. To those, I'd hold up the first glass of real wine I drink and give them a toast!
05 September 2009
1. What is your current obsession?
Thinking about the rain
2. What are you wearing today?
A salwar with big brown and blue flowers, my sister bought me with her first salary
3. What’s for dinner?
Sambar and Aveel (remains of onam special)
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A packet of bread (since I cook breakfast, I make different things with bread-tis easy!)
5. What are you listening to right now?
Stab my back - All American Rejects
6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Rampi!hmmmmm...dunno, mayb i'l type it in after i meet him...
7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
A live-in fridge!! I simply HATE the heat!
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
10. Which language do you want to learn?
Malayalam-my mother tongue...something tells me that I just mite get married 2 sum1 who prefers to speak in malayalam to his wife
11. What’s your favourite quote?
The human spirit is tougher than anything that happens to it
12. Who do you want to meet right now?
The guy I have a vague crush on
13. What is your favourite colour?
I favour dark violet but I like to wear black
14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
A black kurta which I dare not wear in front of mum coz tis all worn out
15. What is your dream job?
Researcher in a hi-tech organization.
16. What’s your favourite magazine?
Reader`s Digest (same a urs Rampi). I get inspired by even the most dullest story they publish.
17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Lots and lots of casual tops (It's time to change my wardrobe!)
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Me not one bit fashionable...but of one thing I'm certain-that overdoing your make-up is YUCK!!
19. What would you do if you have a time machine?
I'd go back to my school days and punch those guys in school who used to tease me
20. Describe your personal style?
Uuuhh! Dunno really, right now, I just wear salwars only coz I dun't wanna b glared at by da oldies round here...as for the way i talk and act - I think i'm undergoing some kinda transformation and so i'm not sure...
21. What are you going to do after this?
Zzzzzzz...tis 1:45am now...
22. What are your favourite movies?
Chronicles of Narnia (part 1), LOTR, Pirates of the Carribbean, Princes Diaries (part 1), Shrek, 27 dresses...I know der r more, but can't remember...
24. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can’t live without?
Surma...I always draw my eyes even if i dun't apply any powder or cream...nuthin else really!!
23. What inspires you?
Music and a genuine friend's advice
24. What do you carry in your bag?
My purse, lotsa pens and pencils, my mob, handkerchief, comb (my hair is difficult to tame), a note wid all da phone no.s n important notes-to-remember, my Mp3 player...da rest depends on xactly wer I'm heading to...
25. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
I just take any dress my hand gets hold of
26. Coffee or tea?
Coffee, coffee!! mum never makes coffee at home-she thinks it's not gud for kids...but hey, I'm a grown up now!
27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I just brood over it and keep it inside and just go on wid life till da phase pass by! Previously, I used to hibernate (sleep for a long long time)
28. What is the meaning of your name?
Tis actually a combination and modification of my parents and siblings names. It can be only that coz luk wat I found wen I luked up da meaning in the dictionary
|a combining form meaning “kidney,” used in the formation of compound words: reniform.|
< class="ital-inline">rēni-, comb. form of rēnēs kidneys"
29. Which other blogs you love visiting?
Have a luk at da right side. u'll c a list of "other cool blogs"
30. Favourite Dessert/Sweet?
Fruit salad with ice cream (the way mum makes it)
31. Favourite Season?
Winter. Aaaah!! da cold and the cuddling wid ma blanket or sweater!!
32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Noodles, to be on the safer side
33. What’s your current mood?
34. One book/movie/song that made you sit up and think?
Here I am- (from the film Camp Rock)
The rules are:
Respond and rework – Answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one more question of your own. Then tag eight or ten other set of people.
I'm stopping the tag here Rampi!...34 questions!!
But one thing is for sure, "With Freedom comes Responsibility!"
In the meantime, I'm learning how to cook and my mum's my guide. Since I'm not so used to doing the cooking, I am "all thumbs" and mum's getting exasperated. Now, I make the breakfast and tea everyday and I'm doing okay, I guess. At least I don't burn the bread nowadays and I think I deserve a pat on my back! The tea has the right proportion of tea leaves, milk and sugar and I don't wrinkle my nose when I drink my own tea. The rest...well, I' ve developed a few defense mechanisms which will help me survive mum's wrath for the time being:
1. Don't sulk when mum scolds you. Don't try smiling through your frustration either, because your mum knows you best. Just maintain an innocent blank expression and just make sure you don't look stupid either or else mum will have the impression you can't look after yourself.
2. When mum asks you if you need some help while you are cooking, just gracefully accept it because she knows when things will start getting difficult and she's only trying to make your dish taste good.
3. Initially, when you are a beginner at this job, don't think you can leave something on the stove and get back to it at the right time. Just hang around, put on some music and give those vocal cords some exercise while you watch the kettle on the stove.
4. You can try being daring now and then but not always, because if things go wrong continuously it might dampen your enthusiasm.
5. Agree to clean up after everything is over since it is a symbolic gesture which says, "I can handle things myself, don't worry!"