DEAR DIARY...

I've been trying for ages to maintain a diary in which I would write all about everything I feel, think and do. Being the lazy bum that I am, I never succeeded to do it for more than 2 consecutive days in a year. It never occurred to my young mind then, that writing everything down can actually exhaust you, leaving you with no energy to actually do anything. I now blush at what I had written in my diary when I was little and think that if I did somehow die young, my father might send it to a famous publishing company with the tittle, "THE DIARY OF A YOUNG MORON". If it did happen, young morons everywhere will be inspired to be a "somebody" in this big competing world (even if it's by writing a diary).

Jokes aside, I've noticed that writing in a diary can actually be therapeutic. It helps you to ventilate your mind (try writing "ggrrrrrrrrr!!..." on a piece of paper, the next time your boss is sitting on your head), make your thoughts seem more clear and actually reason with your (sometimes) "irrational" beliefs. There are times when the young mind actually expresses an untouched and pure kind of wisdom that makes you wonder about who actually robbed you off your innocence.

Philosophical ideas aside, I feel obliged to mention the fact that most eminent psychologists use the "diary" technique under a more professional name - "Rational Emotive Therapy", a name proposed by it's founder, Albert Ellis. Ofcourse, RET involves writing down emotion-charged events and the feelings and thoughts which accompany them, along with side notes indicating ways on which one can deal with it. Furthermore, progress is noted and commented on. It really helps...try it once in awhile and you'll think that the result is almost miraculous.

How does it work for me? Being the lazy bum I am, I will never know...

WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU

I'll have to start from scrap because I've lost all my readers (even my big bro does not read my blog anymore) and some have even canceled my name from the "blogs I read" list. Well, all I can do is swallow my pride and continue to write bloggy posts.
Lately I have developed a renewed interest in high school/teenage movies and I've realised that deep inside I haven't exactly grown up. The High School Musical made by Disney has 3 parts and all three are superb. Although predictable and so disney-like it reminds me of my former days when all the trivial things used to worry me and I along with my friends used to cook up ways to get out of trouble. Sometimes our ideas and plans were so far - fetched that only the most sensible among us would realise that such plans work only in movies. Camp Rock and The Minute Men were great too and I can't help but wait for Disney to make more movies like it.

This reminds me of a conversation I and my friends had in the Chemistry lab in High School.

Fatu (an unorthodox Muslim from Pune), pouring the chemical into the burette: School life is almost over and the actual fun is just about to start...I mean, we'll all be in different places, doing different things...

Joe (a Phillipino and Pak mix), almost tearfully: I'm gonna miss all the fun I had here (to which I and Fatu grunt coz she had quite a long list of boyfriends)...and besides you guys won't be with me anymore...Man, I love you both...

Me (quiet till then because I was sucking an acid into a pipette): you'll have friends wherever you go (and not to mention boyfriends ) and besides meeting new people can be very exciting...

Joe (showing a lot of emotion and affection): Nobody's gonna be as good as you gals....

Fatu (rolling her eyeballs): Cut the crap please! What I meant to say is a few years from now I'll finally marry Mr.U-kno-who, Reni's gonna finally fall for someone (and I think to myself, "finally get the courage to admit that I've fallen for someone") and you'll be a great doctor...you see, all the things we thought were imposssible is going to happen...

Me: What makes you so sure?...

Fatu: You can't possibly be a nun, I can't love anybody else but him, and Joe, weeeeelllll.....

Joe: WHAT!!!? Ofcourse I'll be a great doc...

Fatu: Eeer, yea, ofcourse! It's all destined to be that way!

A "few" years have passed and Joe drifts off to the graphic designing field and sings in the church choir (I bet she finds the male lead singer cute), Fatu has found out that she can love somebody else after all and gets happily married off to another guy, and I'm still going around having only minor crushes...Life can be so unpredictable :-)...

NUTTY DOCS!

I feel very much like a teen, not knowing what to do, where to go and and how to do what. Sometimes I feel so crazy and weird that I end up doing the wrong thing all the time. Maybe it's the lack of sleep (but seriously I sleep for 6hrs), or the growing up process (but am I not big enough to actually stop growing and start feeling stable?) or maybe it's the prodromal phase of schizophrenia (great, I think the name of my blog will give me away). It's weird the way you go on talking to a number of psychiatric patients and when you start to slowly feel that there's nothing wrong with them feeling the way they do because you feel that way sometime or the other or because you know someone you know very well who feel the same. Many a time the brain gets exhausted and you feel that you are losing control (the plus point is that it makes it easier for you to relate to the patient more). I'm on the verge of embracing a profession I'll be practicing for a life time and something I'll learn to love and cope with. I take it as a challenge because even we say jokingly among ourselves that one day we'll all go mad ourselves.
CHEERS TO ALL THE SHRINKS OUT THERE!! YOU DESERVE IT!