A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE!

What with a million things to talk about and a million sources through which information can be sought and cross checked it’s very easy nowadays to sit down and do a little of ‘article writing’ during leisure time. For people like me going through circumstances I’m going through at the moment, it’s even more easier…well, if I can face the consequences of neglecting my mum’s bickering and her constant flow of worries. Hmmmm, I must admit that she has a good number of reasons to worry about but I can’t really figure out how these problems can be solved by constantly bickering at me. Well, I’m trying to react to it in different ways to find out what actually will work. I’m experimenting in a way to figure out what can actually stop people like mum from nagging. Maybe I can write a whole new book for youngsters out there on how to deal with problematic nagging mums. While I do research on that let’s go through something else…something revealing and insightful. You should be ready for this because today you are going to find out that THERE IS A WRITER IN EVERY ONE OF US! Believe it or not, but it would be very interesting if all of us maintained a diary and wrote down what we feel and think. It’s interesting to know how some things can seem rational and common sense to some but irrational and nonsensical to others. For instance, you must have come across people saying, “Awww, man you are weird!, “I don’t understand you!”, “What makes you think so?” “From where do you get such cool ideas?”, “Did I miss something?”, etc. I’ve heard my share of the mentioned statements and I’ve often impatiently pushed it back thinking that I could answer those questions later. I sometimes light heartedly say that I’m different because I predominantly use the right cerebral hemisphere (I’m a left handed weirdo) unlike the majority who predominantly use the left hemisphere and are right handed. That’s of course a very unscientific way of explaining things but there are times when one’s patience run out and we answer silly regardless of who exactly we are talking to . The truth is we are ALL different and we can’t help it. That’s the reason why the way we all think is interesting to each other and we should pen it down often.

A friend of mine was very attached to her “phaw phow” (which she very fondly calls her belly button). I was curious about what made her feel so nice meddling with it while sleeping, talking over the phone or even while reading a book. When I irritatedly mentioned to her once that I thought she could do without it she retorted back saying, “How would you feel if you were deprived of your pillow while you were sleeping?”. I was exasperated but I knew that if it turned out to be a problem later on, she’d have to learn it the hard way

In the past few years I’ve made a casual observation of the people around me and how they think and how their kind of thinking makes them work or rather move on with life. It would be an interesting read if people who you come across everyday writes down what they think and why. It’s what psychologists would call the method of introspection – a method in which you observe what goes on inside you and record it in words. Of course there will be numerous instances when we are not honest to even ourselves and we rationalize everything we do, but that’s a mistake we’ll have to bear with because we are all understandably human. It’s not technically a scientific method – something which even practicing psychoanalysts agree to. Not convinced? Ok. How would you test/examine whether the colleague next to you showed you his answer paper during a very important exam because he wanted to genuinely help you out or merely because he wanted to feel belonged or accepted? Confusing, huh? This is where getting to know the personality of a person helps – helps to know how he thinks. Since everyone has a unique personality shaped by genes and the environment all can write something interesting for the benefit of the rest of us. Go ahead and give it a try buddy!

MAY I COMMUNICATE WITH YOU?

The new found trends these days are making life in general very confusing and difficult to cope with. I’m not talking about the dressing style developed by the youngsters or the increasing amount of information we get from different sources or even the hi-tech gadgets made every day. Most are aware of the cultural differences that exist while communicating; the body language involved, the words used and even the way we say certain lines as well as the facial expressions that accompany it. However, you’d be surprised to know that differences more detrimental and more “different” exists within the family itself. And as the saying goes, “Charity begins at home”, it would be better if we tried to relate to our family members first.
A very familiar scenario may go like this:
Mum: How was school today?
Teenage Son: Hmmmmm….
Mum: Well?
Teenage Son: Gooorf! Phoookay! (Munching on a sandwich)
Mum: That doesn’t say much!
And the exasperated mother looks on while the sons walks to his room and slams the door. Clearly, slamming the door means sending out the message, “Keep away! I need my space!”
Let’s not be too patronizing on the teenager involved in the above example and say he reacted the wrong way or even on the mother and say that she wasn’t warm or clever enough to actually get a frank and open answer from her own son. At the same time, it’s easy for us as observers to sit back and say it’s the generation gap problem and it will resolve when time passes by. The good news is, most often than not, it does resolve over time and teens grow into mature adults once they feel they’ve got responsibilities they have to carry out on their shoulders. But the bad news is that, there have been many cases in which irreparable damage occurs and difficulties too hard to cope with arise as a result of this “lack of communication”. Moreover, sometimes people are not able to resolve these conflicts and as a result develop some serious problems in life.
Communication is a tricky business and the way we interact with different people is tailor-made according to the person’s temperament and how we are related to the person as well as on how the other person treats us. Clearly, there is no basic rule by which we should act or any basic principle we should follow to interact with the people around us. However, there surely is a basic attitude we could develop to make it less conflicting in nature. The attitude can be summarized in the phrase, “Gently but Firmly”. “Gently” meaning, the prime concern of every individual is to get the message through such that the other person is able to understand what is being said and how the other person feels about something, rather than trying to force an idea on the other person and prove that he is right. Persuasiveness is a good quality but it does no good to the receiver or the speaker to squabble over something that is of no particular significance. For example, a vegetarian may go on endlessly about how cruel non-vegetarians are for killing animals and eating their meat like cannibals whereas, non-vegetarians could retort back by saying that they would do the same if they knew the taste of meat. And besides, plants are living things too so why isn’t it considered cruel to kill and eat them too?
What about cases in which we need to convince the other about an idea? This is where we need to be convincing rather than forceful. This is one method used by participants in debates. Good debaters are alert and know both the pros and cons of their case. They present their arguments in the form of clear-cut facts and give a sincere and genuine expression of their points. They do it in such a way that people would think that they believe in it and they are justified to do so. This reminds me of a debate I was involved in a few years back. We were discussing the poem, “The Last Duchess” and there were two teams – one who fought for the idea that the Duke was wrong in murdering his own wife, the Duchess, merely because he didn’t appreciate the fact that the young lady had a way of charming everyone around her and the other team sided the Duke. Nobody wanted to be on the Duke’s side of course, because it was quite obvious that his evil act could not be justified. One girl in particular stood up and spoke for the Duke in such a manner that one would be convinced that the Duchess was naïve and utterly stupid in her dealings and that she should’ve seen it coming. She said it in a matter-of-fact way and very simply spoke out what the Duke must’ve been feeling. At the end of her say, it was obvious that even girls with the feminist attitude were nodding their heads. Frankly, I was scandalized but impressed!
By the term “Firmly” I mean the ability to stand for what you believe in and not waver but at the same time to develop a broad and flexible mindset that will help you to objectively listen and reason out what others say to you. Understandably, none of us know everything that is happening around us and people can educate you in several different ways. Incidents can teach you hard core lessons and it would be stupid if you do not learn from your mistakes. However, it would also be absurd if one had a fickle mind and is unable to think independently. We are all experimenters in one way or the other. Some are good while others are bad. Those we classify as “good” are those who have clearly experimented on the different possibilities, including the possibility of our concepts or our beliefs being wrong. Strange as it may seem, the modern world demands the need to question and test everything we see, hear and touch…even question the very core of our existence and beliefs at times. (These are areas philosophers seem to get lost and go “insane”.)
Now that we are familiar with the kind of attitude we ought to develop, let’s see how we can apply it in a practical sense. The following tips (which anyone can most probably google search) will help you a long way:
1) Develop the skill of listening:
2) Talk in a way that is not threatening to the person you are talking to or maybe even arguing with.
3) Maintain your composure no matter what because a hot-headed person may seem immature or emotionally unstable. Confidence is an important (and difficult) trait to develop, especially when you are doing the talking and all eyes are on you. Even if you are not sure of what you are expressing, patiently explain where exactly you are confused or need clarification.
Consider the above three points as the key factors that need to be attended to. But it’s not as easy as it seems. For some, it might come out naturally, but for others it might have to be developed and worked on further. But always remember that, “Slow and steady wins the race”.

HOLD YOUR TEMPER YOUNGMAN!

A lot of people find it difficult to control their temper. Even those charming ones who seem to wear that amiable mask all the time, you’d think they could NEVER become angry – ever! In such cases it’s not uncommon to hear them say, “You wouldn’t want to make ME angry!” or somebody else say about them, “You’ve never seen him angry? Aaaahh, you wouldn’t want to know!” A common belief among both the young and the elderly these days is the concept that getting angry or ordering people around like Hitler-Reborn helps you get things done your way and that nobody can stop you even if they wanted to. I salute all those who believe in the fast road to developing a cardiac arrest!

Now let’s think like mature adults and reason it out for a few minutes, shall we? Apart from the very detrimental effects of a bad-temper to health, let’s see the after affects of an anger outburst. Picturise yourself in a scene in which you are provoked and you feel your blood boiling. Thoughts like, “I’m going to show him what I am made of!”, “Who does he think he is?”, “I’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget”, or maybe merely a list of censored words. You tell yourself not to lose ‘it’…you think to yourself, “what the heck?”, and the next thing you know is that there is a volcanic eruption and hot boiling lava is flowing from your very mouth! The after effects? Well, the recipient is extremely upset. The consequences of course, depend on what kind of person the other person is. If he is as hot-tempered as you are, then he might follow the principle, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”; if he is the inhibited type, he’ll whine and feel real bad about it; if he is the assertive type, he’ll make you look like a fool – you can bet on that! And beware, this might be only the overtly obvious consequence, but that one outburst can start a series of misunderstandings, frustrations, relationship problems and other complexities of human interactions. Neither of these are good outcomes, admit it. On the other hand, there are more pros than cons when you consider the option of remaining calm, cool and not losing your composure.

Another concept that is widely believed (basically because of the common male stereotype developed by the current society) is that you cannot be considered a “man” if you do not react to the situation - the more aggressive you are, the more manly you are considered to be. In fact, what most do not realize is the resultant uncomfortable feeling people around experience whether they are the unlucky victim or a casual observer. Well, let me tell you, it doesn’t have to necessarily be that way. George Clooney is one of those actors in Hollywood who never seem to grow old or maybe he’s got the charm of aging with grace. I’ve never come across any girl who’ve watched one of his films and said, “Ugh! That guy lacks something!” Nor is it obvious in the news about anyone hating him or obviously disliking him. Of course, there might be a lot of factors that contribute to his charm but one trait that really stands out in him is his ability to maintain his composure (surprisingly in real as well as reel life).

In the case of the modern day woman too, people would tell you that a lady without a “stronghold” or a “firm stand” will not make it big in this challenging world where everything is considered a rat race – from being a popular girl in school to making grandchildren obey. What most fail to notice is the fact that many lose the “woman charm” and their dependability when they prove to be hot-headed. In times of emotional turmoil and crisis it used to be the woman who went on and tolerated it till the end with a perseverance that seemed to be almost divine (even though they did shed buckets of tears to vent out the sorrow). The trend seems to be changing now. Now, it’s not uncommon to see both men and women shriek and yell out their emotions without realizing the fact that it’s not helping and that they are merely adding fuel to the fire.

Before making up our mind to change our attitude and start trying to become calm and composed ALL the time, let’s try convincing ourselves about the pros first. I’d like to stress on it by citing an example. I knew an extremely gullible and popular girl in college who got to know that her rival was spreading obscene rumors about her. The rumors were quite convincing and people started looking at her from a different point of view. She lost the trust of most of her colleagues and even a few friends. Although extremely upset about the happenings, she did not react angrily to the situation and relied on the very few friends who knew that these rumors were a lie. True, a few months were bleak and she had to face many hurdles, but slowly people were convinced by her sincere nature and that the rumors weren’t true and her charm and pleasant nature won her new friends. Surprisingly, most even forgot about it and were willing to accept her. All this happened within a time frame of 2 years, but the result was awesome. It was almost miraculous, in a way that surprised me. On the contrary, if she had lost her temper it would have turned out to be an even bigger issue and the outcome would have been the very opposite. Even in such a situation in which she had every right to fly off the handle, she maintained her cool and was rewarded for it. In fact, people respected her even more!

Controlling your temper is certainly not an easy task, especially when you feel that you are justified to. However, if you master the art of anger management, you’ll see wonders work around you. One last advice - occasionally when you lose your temper, don’t be too harsh on yourself…it’s a good start if you first train yourself not to get angry with yourself!!!

MY COOL AWARDS!!

Frankly, I feel so self-indulgent posting my awards and all...but hey!!, tis cool recognition!...Thank ya! Ram ol buddy!!

DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE GOOD THINKERS OUT THERE

Something has been disturbing me real bad lately (of course, other than the "early adulthood crisis" and mum's blabberings and the decision of what I am supposed to do next and holding on to the person I believe I am...). For a long time I could not put my finger on it, but now, I think is the right time to work it out and actually put it down in words.

I remember when I was little, I used to wonder why people thought too much and why they did it even when they were sure they would feel miserable in the end. I used to watch big bro immerse himself in books and brood over a lot of things, while big sis and me knew he was the most brightest among us and when his friends admired him and when my parents doted on their only son. I felt that all this love and admiration was lost on him and he somehow couldn't feel it coming from us. When time passed by he was still charming to me, although VERY BORING when he spoke about his great philosophical ideas (because it used to go over my head). I used to manage to cough when he cracked light-hearted jokes just to be polite. Well, after all the psychology I've studied, I know my bro's perfectly normal but he's suffering from what I'd wish to call the ' Good Thinker's Bug'. The bug had bitten him at a very young age and the illness makes ordinary things look boring, most people around not all that important, blocks out all the affection we feel for him and somehow makes him altogether cynical in his view of life. His mistake? - he thinks too much and he's good at it!

Another college mate I admire (most people either admired her or were jealous of her) is so successful in life now - working at a young age, independent, has the most charming smile, can capture you with her words, has a brain that can match Einstein's and was a rock n roll person during her school days. However, she too was bitten by the Bug somewhere at the end of her High School and WHAM!! everything was diffferent. Like as if, someone cruelly broke her rose-tinted glasses, threw it away and shoved her a black tinted one which she so innocently put on. Even now she's a legend in college because of the most astounding marks she got without putting in much effort. One day I decided to let her know that she was simply the best because I knew she hardly realised all this or maybe didn't care even though she knew. Chating with her made me realise that she was not doing all that well inspite of the fact that she was performing well in her high-class job. I noticed the symptoms and tried talking to her and changing her point of view. Since we weren't all that close during those college days and since I was talking like those shrinks she had consulted in the past, and since she was really cynical herself, I knew bringing about even a little difference would take ages. I stopped there but didn't give up. I won't give up because her only fault is that she thinks too much and she's good at it!

Another friend I only vaguely know but who makes me laugh, has this bug in him too. I simply couldn't imagine how he could be so BORED and LOUSY when he had that perfect sense of humour. Now I understand that it's not his fault and it's just that he thinks too much and he's good at it!

I've been going through a number of blogs at random just so that I'll have some food for thought and I can come up with a solution for these great thinkers. Most blogs I went through were simply great but had the heavy note of sarcasm and pessimism I thought could scare away a number of those around them or maybe dissappoint those who really love them. I'm not going to go ahead and preach for two reasons: Firstly, I'm not a good preacher and secondly, I'm sure people who can actually think will scoff at what I have to say.

Why then did I type in this post? To stress the fact that "Life is so beautiful and all we have to do is reach out to it!" What I just typed in sounds so lame and so simple that it's hard to believe but I know it's true. If someone out there starts talking about the pain and suffering and the war out there, and about how fake people are, I'd say being cynical is not going to help us go through all this, but hope can. Hope, a good sense of humour and love (a word I feel some of us use so casually without understanding the actual meaning.)

The Bug has bitten me too, sometime in the last 2 years but I refuse to succumb to it. I somehow think a lot nowadays and I sometimes feel I'm drowning. But I don't drown because I think too much but I'm not good at it! Moreover, there have been a few people who have unexpectedly come my way and showed me that life is not so bad altogether and that I should relax and not be too judgmental towards others, myself and towards life altogether. To those, I'd hold up the first glass of real wine I drink and give them a toast!

Rampi's tag!!

1. What is your current obsession?
Thinking about the rain

2. What are you wearing today?
A salwar with big brown and blue flowers, my sister bought me with her first salary

3. What’s for dinner?
Sambar and Aveel (remains of onam special)

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A packet of bread (since I cook breakfast, I make different things with bread-tis easy!)

5. What are you listening to right now?
Stab my back - All American Rejects

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Rampi!hmmmmm...dunno, mayb i'l type it in after i meet him...

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Birmingham, England

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

A live-in fridge!! I simply HATE the heat!

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Greece

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Malayalam-my mother tongue...something tells me that I just mite get married 2 sum1 who prefers to speak in malayalam to his wife

11. What’s your favourite quote?
The human spirit is tougher than anything that happens to it

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
The guy I have a vague crush on

13. What is your favourite colour?
I favour dark violet but I like to wear black

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
A black kurta which I dare not wear in front of mum coz tis all worn out

15. What is your dream job?

Researcher in a hi-tech organization.

16. What’s your favourite magazine?
Reader`s Digest (same a urs Rampi). I get inspired by even the most dullest story they publish.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

Lots and lots of casual tops (It's time to change my wardrobe!)

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

Me not one bit fashionable...but of one thing I'm certain-that overdoing your make-up is YUCK!!

19. What would you do if you have a time machine?
I'd go back to my school days and punch those guys in school who used to tease me

20. Describe your personal style?
Uuuhh! Dunno really, right now, I just wear salwars only coz I dun't wanna b glared at by da oldies round here...as for the way i talk and act - I think i'm undergoing some kinda transformation and so i'm not sure...

21. What are you going to do after this?
Zzzzzzz...tis 1:45am now...

22. What are your favourite movies?
Chronicles of Narnia (part 1), LOTR, Pirates of the Carribbean, Princes Diaries (part 1), Shrek, 27 dresses...I know der r more, but can't remember...

24. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can’t live without?

Surma...I always draw my eyes even if i dun't apply any powder or cream...nuthin else really!!

23. What inspires you?
Music and a genuine friend's advice

24. What do you carry in your bag?
My purse, lotsa pens and pencils, my mob, handkerchief, comb (my hair is difficult to tame), a note wid all da phone no.s n important notes-to-remember, my Mp3 player...da rest depends on xactly wer I'm heading to...

25. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?

I just take any dress my hand gets hold of

26. Coffee or tea?
Coffee, coffee!! mum never makes coffee at home-she thinks it's not gud for kids...but hey, I'm a grown up now!

27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

I just brood over it and keep it inside and just go on wid life till da phase pass by! Previously, I used to hibernate (sleep for a long long time)

28. What is the meaning of your name?

Tis actually a combination and modification of my parents and siblings names. It can be only that coz luk wat I found wen I luked up da meaning in the dictionary

" reni-

 

a combining form meaning “kidney,” used in the formation of compound words: reniform.

---

Origin:
< class="ital-inline">rēni-, comb. form of rēnēs kidneys"

29. Which other blogs you love visiting?
Have a luk at da right side. u'll c a list of "other cool blogs"

30. Favourite Dessert/Sweet?
Fruit salad with ice cream (the way mum makes it)

31. Favourite Season?
Winter. Aaaah!! da cold and the cuddling wid ma blanket or sweater!!

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Noodles, to be on the safer side

33. What’s your current mood?
Euthymic

34. One book/movie/song that made you sit up and think?

Here I am- (from the film Camp Rock)

The rules are:
Respond and rework – Answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, and add one more question of your own. Then tag eight or ten other set of people.

I'm stopping the tag here Rampi!...34 questions!!

THE EARLY ADULTHOOD CRISIS

Haven't been blogging for a long time, I know and I am to blame for it. I have decided to take full, and I say full responsibility for what happens to me. I have decided that I have come of age and it's about time I control my own life. From this time onwards what happens to me depends on how smart I am able to deal with the situation and NOT on how smart my parents are. Now that my Master's course is going to get over in the next few days, I've got to jump to another phase of my life and start to take the initiative to do something. Well, I've already started to take action, and I'm working on Plan A. If Plan A does not work, I know I should not feel disappointed and I've got to work on a Plan B. This one month will decide what I'll be doing for the next one year and frankly, I'm nervous. It's the turning point in my life and I'm not going to passively sit back just waiting for my parents to get a perfect guy to marry me. I'm going to speak up and tell them exactly what I feel so that they can understand.

But one thing is for sure, "With Freedom comes Responsibility!"



In the meantime, I'm learning how to cook and my mum's my guide. Since I'm not so used to doing the cooking, I am "all thumbs" and mum's getting exasperated. Now, I make the breakfast and tea everyday and I'm doing okay, I guess. At least I don't burn the bread nowadays and I think I deserve a pat on my back! The tea has the right proportion of tea leaves, milk and sugar and I don't wrinkle my nose when I drink my own tea. The rest...well, I' ve developed a few defense mechanisms which will help me survive mum's wrath for the time being:

1. Don't sulk when mum scolds you. Don't try smiling through your frustration either, because your mum knows you best. Just maintain an innocent blank expression and just make sure you don't look stupid either or else mum will have the impression you can't look after yourself.

2. When mum asks you if you need some help while you are cooking, just gracefully accept it because she knows when things will start getting difficult and she's only trying to make your dish taste good.

3. Initially, when you are a beginner at this job, don't think you can leave something on the stove and get back to it at the right time. Just hang around, put on some music and give those vocal cords some exercise while you watch the kettle on the stove.

4. You can try being daring now and then but not always, because if things go wrong continuously it might dampen your enthusiasm.

5. Agree to clean up after everything is over since it is a symbolic gesture which says, "I can handle things myself, don't worry!"

ENJOY!!!!

GOODBYE HOME SWEET HOME!

Today the 20th of August 2009, I finally vacated the hostel and to my surprise, I was actually feeling really sad and depressed about it. A part of me will always belong there because it was my home for 5 long years. I used to grunt and stomp around, I know, saying that I don't have the freedom to do ANYTHING and all that bullshit, but somehow, staying there with all "ma girls" made it a lot fun. Yesterday was the last time I was doing a lot of things: last time having dinner, praying the common prayer, jumping around and yelling without a care in the world, teasing the rest and being teased,...sigh! "Ma girls" could not believe that I was actually leaving coz I've been there even before all of them had come. "You going?!!- TOMORROW!!-so fast!!-go after onam!!-why so fast?!!", were the usual dialogues to which I tried to cheerfully smile and respond by saying, "Hey, I've stayed here loooong enough, dun't ya think?"

Yesterday was wednesday and we all gathered on the terrace for the common prayer. The sky was beautiful and the stars were shining bright. For once, I didn't doze off during prayer because I knew that it was my last here. At the end while we stretched out our hands and legs my Sister warden officially announced that I was leaving the next day. With everyone's eyes on me, I felt glad that it was dark and there was just a small bulb lighting up the place. Sister said a lot of nice things about me, which, I must admit, sounded really unbelievable to my ears. The rest listened to it and looked at me with awe. Then they requested me to sing a few malayalam songs which I had tried to learn and which I had modified in my own way to make people laugh (among them my master piece is the malayalam version of the titanic song). Ma girls then sang a song dedicated to me which could have made me cry if I had not lost the ability to shed tears. I gulped once or twice though because I was feeling heavy somewhere in the chest region and wanted to get rid of it. After the song, there was complete silence to which I responded by saying, "Ehhhhh, Thanks". Nobody moved or even uttered a word and that's when I realised that they were expecting me to say more. I cleared my throat and said a few words which I made sure didn't sound like a church sermon.

While getting in the car I looked back and thought to myself, "That place was no ordinary hostel but it was a home for people like me."

DEAR DIARY...

I've been trying for ages to maintain a diary in which I would write all about everything I feel, think and do. Being the lazy bum that I am, I never succeeded to do it for more than 2 consecutive days in a year. It never occurred to my young mind then, that writing everything down can actually exhaust you, leaving you with no energy to actually do anything. I now blush at what I had written in my diary when I was little and think that if I did somehow die young, my father might send it to a famous publishing company with the tittle, "THE DIARY OF A YOUNG MORON". If it did happen, young morons everywhere will be inspired to be a "somebody" in this big competing world (even if it's by writing a diary).

Jokes aside, I've noticed that writing in a diary can actually be therapeutic. It helps you to ventilate your mind (try writing "ggrrrrrrrrr!!..." on a piece of paper, the next time your boss is sitting on your head), make your thoughts seem more clear and actually reason with your (sometimes) "irrational" beliefs. There are times when the young mind actually expresses an untouched and pure kind of wisdom that makes you wonder about who actually robbed you off your innocence.

Philosophical ideas aside, I feel obliged to mention the fact that most eminent psychologists use the "diary" technique under a more professional name - "Rational Emotive Therapy", a name proposed by it's founder, Albert Ellis. Ofcourse, RET involves writing down emotion-charged events and the feelings and thoughts which accompany them, along with side notes indicating ways on which one can deal with it. Furthermore, progress is noted and commented on. It really helps...try it once in awhile and you'll think that the result is almost miraculous.

How does it work for me? Being the lazy bum I am, I will never know...

WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU

I'll have to start from scrap because I've lost all my readers (even my big bro does not read my blog anymore) and some have even canceled my name from the "blogs I read" list. Well, all I can do is swallow my pride and continue to write bloggy posts.
Lately I have developed a renewed interest in high school/teenage movies and I've realised that deep inside I haven't exactly grown up. The High School Musical made by Disney has 3 parts and all three are superb. Although predictable and so disney-like it reminds me of my former days when all the trivial things used to worry me and I along with my friends used to cook up ways to get out of trouble. Sometimes our ideas and plans were so far - fetched that only the most sensible among us would realise that such plans work only in movies. Camp Rock and The Minute Men were great too and I can't help but wait for Disney to make more movies like it.

This reminds me of a conversation I and my friends had in the Chemistry lab in High School.

Fatu (an unorthodox Muslim from Pune), pouring the chemical into the burette: School life is almost over and the actual fun is just about to start...I mean, we'll all be in different places, doing different things...

Joe (a Phillipino and Pak mix), almost tearfully: I'm gonna miss all the fun I had here (to which I and Fatu grunt coz she had quite a long list of boyfriends)...and besides you guys won't be with me anymore...Man, I love you both...

Me (quiet till then because I was sucking an acid into a pipette): you'll have friends wherever you go (and not to mention boyfriends ) and besides meeting new people can be very exciting...

Joe (showing a lot of emotion and affection): Nobody's gonna be as good as you gals....

Fatu (rolling her eyeballs): Cut the crap please! What I meant to say is a few years from now I'll finally marry Mr.U-kno-who, Reni's gonna finally fall for someone (and I think to myself, "finally get the courage to admit that I've fallen for someone") and you'll be a great doctor...you see, all the things we thought were imposssible is going to happen...

Me: What makes you so sure?...

Fatu: You can't possibly be a nun, I can't love anybody else but him, and Joe, weeeeelllll.....

Joe: WHAT!!!? Ofcourse I'll be a great doc...

Fatu: Eeer, yea, ofcourse! It's all destined to be that way!

A "few" years have passed and Joe drifts off to the graphic designing field and sings in the church choir (I bet she finds the male lead singer cute), Fatu has found out that she can love somebody else after all and gets happily married off to another guy, and I'm still going around having only minor crushes...Life can be so unpredictable :-)...

NUTTY DOCS!

I feel very much like a teen, not knowing what to do, where to go and and how to do what. Sometimes I feel so crazy and weird that I end up doing the wrong thing all the time. Maybe it's the lack of sleep (but seriously I sleep for 6hrs), or the growing up process (but am I not big enough to actually stop growing and start feeling stable?) or maybe it's the prodromal phase of schizophrenia (great, I think the name of my blog will give me away). It's weird the way you go on talking to a number of psychiatric patients and when you start to slowly feel that there's nothing wrong with them feeling the way they do because you feel that way sometime or the other or because you know someone you know very well who feel the same. Many a time the brain gets exhausted and you feel that you are losing control (the plus point is that it makes it easier for you to relate to the patient more). I'm on the verge of embracing a profession I'll be practicing for a life time and something I'll learn to love and cope with. I take it as a challenge because even we say jokingly among ourselves that one day we'll all go mad ourselves.
CHEERS TO ALL THE SHRINKS OUT THERE!! YOU DESERVE IT!