AND I FELL IN..........A DITCH!!!

my holiday trip to bangalore started in Jan with a BANG!!...the very first day we arrived at bangalore, mum insisted on going to church ( it's a widely accepted fact that mum's very religious)....since it's not so far away and we can reach there in 20minutes walking, i and mum walk to and from church for the daily 5:30pm mass....on this particular day we were both walking through the usual shortcut my pap often warned the both of us not to take when alone or when it's dark...it was around 6pm, and we were doing just what we were forbidden to do -walking through the shortcut in the dark.... "hey mum, i think we're walking the wrong way! i can't find the ddDAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh..........!(surprisingly i was aware that i yelled out in a tune that roughly sounded like a religious hymn we sang in church that day) " CRASH! i groped around in the dark to find what i had gotten myself into and realised to my horror that i was standing (or rather trying to stand) right in the middle of a ditch. Since my hands, hips and feet had badly been hurt (uhuh! scraped it against the rough concrete sides of the ditch during the fall. Ouch!), i could think of nothing but the pain. i could see mum's dark profile above me and though i couldn't see her features properly, i knew that she was in complete agony. before mum could do something silly like jumping in to get me, i heaved myself up and sat on the side of the ditch. the effort made my head spin and all i could say was, "mum, i'm okaaaaaaaahhhh!!" i blacked out and for a moment i thought i was going to die or something. When i came by, i noticed my poor mum standing next to me, holding me with while rubbing her stomach with the other (mum always has gas trouble in her stomach when she is in a state of shock). mum somehow managed to get an auto and we reached home safely. once inside the flat, i folded up my pants a bit to have a good look at my wound and i almost vomited....a huge chunk of my flesh, just below my knee, had been scraped off and there was blood everywhere. Mum started her stomach massage again. She fussed over me for the next few minutes, applying holy oil on the wound, chanting a series of prayers and at last giving me a glass of warm milk for my broken bones and still fluttering heart. i found it difficult to forgive myself for fainting just because i fell into a ditch...well, we've all got our weak spots...

ONCE UPON A SPOOKY NIGHT!

The worst part of being a senior is trying to convince the rest of them that you are mature enough to handle things yourself and setting a nice example. What with my broken Malayalam, bizarre character and weird ideas, literally nobody takes what i say seriously. It so happened that one day, i was sitting in the hostel mess hall along with three other first years. The poor girls were studying for a physiology exam they had the next day while i was sitting in a corner reading "The Other Side of Midnight" by Sidney Sheldon. The three of them being very comical and likable characters, made an otherwise ordinary event, remarkably hilarious. Sangu, kept yawning every five minutes and seemed least interested in studying her stuff. Her chubby cute face was a picture of boredom. While Anu occasionally woke up from her slumber and tried to study with sudden bursts of energy, Winnie had her eyes glued in her text only occasionally peeping sideways to see what the rest were up to. The heroine of my book had found the guy of her dreams (for the hundredth time) and i was so sure that she'd settle with him till the end, he being a handsome and charming man, when all of a sudden we hear a scraping noise at the door. Sangu opens her bleary eyes and has this quizzical look on her face. Anu looks blankly at the door and looks on with despair. winnie is still glued to the book and seems to be so involved that even a hurricane might not have disturbed her. It's easy to make up a story and scare the shit out of these innocent juniors provided they have atleast a seed of doubt or fear. These three bonkers seemed indifferent to what was happening in their environment and i couldn't have made them scared even if i was the best story-teller in the world. i gave it a try any ways......
Me: " did you just hear that sound?"
Anu: "twas the wind."
Me: "no, it wasn't!"
Sangu: "i'm feeling sleepy"
Winnie: "go sleep. it's ok. i'll come after some time."
Me: "it wasn't the wind. it's the sound of something scraping on the door. maybe a white cat or something.....ooooohhhh......"

The three of them look at me in a matter-of fact-way and seemed to tell me, "you cannot fool us ", when exactly, at that same time, we hear the sound again. Impulsively we look at the clock and to our surprise we discover that it's twelve- midnight. There's an eerie silence after that

Me: ahem, well did you guys know something?....aaahhh, well, i'll tell it to you tomorrow....you might have to spend a sleepless night if i did....you've got a physiology exam tomorrow and i don't want to disturb you...

"aww, c'mon...tell us". i notice that Sangu's eyes have opened an inch wider.

Me: i don't believe it myself ofcourse but everybody else seems to...(and i narrated an incident that happened two weeks back in the hostel itself, after midnight. two girls reported that they had heard a heart wrenching scream from one of the rooms and immediately saw a white cat run just past them and disappear into thin air. they had gone to each room to see who had screamed, but found out that everybody was fast asleep . Moreover, they didn't have the slightest clue of where the cat had disappeared. this incident scared the hell out of a few girls in the hostel. i assured them that i didn't make up the story)
well, it could be the white cat scraping at the door....."

Little did i know, when i uttered those words, that the next day i would be the butt of a joke. While i was having breakfast the next day, i noticed that a group of first years were actually looking at me and giggling. Anu asks loudly, "well did the white cat have a white dress on?", and the others burst out laughing. i indignantly reply, "Hey, i never said that! why don't you imagine the cat in diapers while you are about it! Afterall all even ghosts may need to shit".

NOW THIS IS THE LIFE!!

i can't get a grip of what's happening around me...the ending of the year 2007 and the starting of the year 2008 were simply wonderful....what with the frequent trips to bangalore and the movies and the extra fun and sense of freedom.....i can go on and on and on......and just for the heck of spicing up life a bit, i have these horrendous internal exams and university boards to keep up my drooping spirits....now that's being sarcastic!....

December 20th 2007

i board the train to bangalore ALONE....with not a care in the world...my "concerned" relatives say it's not safe....my friends open their eyes at the very idea of me travelling alone ("but you are so dumb!", they say.)....but i'm still brave and i go ahead to board the train, settle down in my berth and stare out of the window....."hey!who switched off the lights!....damn!the windows are tinted!...

December 21st 2007

i turn 21 and i feel all grown up and big overnight....i get down from the train and look around for my pap and mum....pap comes striding, asks me to stay where i am, so that he can go off looking for mum who got overly worried and wandered off in the opposite direction looking for me.....mum comes gasping, unable to contain her excitement like as if it's been years since we've met, when it's been only a month-long separation....she kisses me on my cheeks and forehead and calls me sweet names(the kind you call newborns)...... sigh!i'm not a grown up afterall...

night: we cut the cake after having come back from church....we take only a snap or two (since nobody is willing to face the camera)....

December 25th 2007

by now mum has managed to fatten me and big bro with good food...it's cold in bangalore and i am forever snuggling in my big warm blanket (when pap is not around, ofcourse...."why does she sleep all day?"he often asks).....i and big bro go to see "om shanti om"...while both of us say, "wooow!now that was funny...haha!good one......" at all the right moments....we also shed silent tears at the emotional parts, ashamed to say that we're actually feeling for this om prakash.....

December 26th 2007 to 27th 2007

we (pap, mum and i) fly off to bombay for a cousin bro's engagement....during our wait in the air port mum and pap deliberately and casually ignore the foreigners who are all set for vacationing in goa...i regret not having a friend with me to pass comments and openly goggle at the romancing couples...the engagement is a small one and all the keralites there seem to be having a hard time trying to look cool...the combination of styles and fashion statements makes my head hurt....but i smile to myself and say that this is an engagement i'll never forget...

December 27th 2007

we are on our way back to kerala to spend just one hour at my big sis's place...it's late in the night when we reach there...but her in-laws greet us warmly and show us the new born baby my sis's sis-in-law have given birth to...i tickle the feet to show that babys' curl their toes as a reflex...when that doesn't work, i say,"hmmm, just wait and see, it'll curl its fingers around my little finger if i touch its eeny weeny palm with my little finger"....and when that doesn't work, i say, "i think this babe's from mars".......so much for the child psychology i've learnt....

December 28th 2007

we are aboard on the train to vellankani...on our way to the holy place of pilgrimage to the church of "our lady of vellankani"...it's my 3rd trip there this year and i tiredly reflect on if i'll be able to go for the remaining 13 trips, my mum promised God that i'd go for......since it's a chance for me to see a bit of the outside world, i don't complain...

January 1st 2008 onwards

i come back to college and i very well know that i've got to face the internal exams in a few days....yuck! life's boring all over again and i sit in front of all those notes without even bothering to read a word....and then comes a brain wave.........why don't i go to bangalore again!......just a small visit....just for 10 days or so......

January 9th 2008 (on the day of my last internal exam)

i plan with big bro on another visit to bangalore, although i know that it'll be nearly impossible to do so....but miraculously my pap and mum agrees....

January 11th 2008

i'm excited and i can hardly believe my luck...i grin like a fool at everybody and can't contain the excitement any longer....what's more, is that lady luck smiles on me and i get to meet up with my old friends, go for another movie, and get a taste of a little more freedom.....

(to be continued)

HUG A TREE

when i was too little to understand feelings i read somewhere that if you got too emotionally laden you could diffuse them by simply hugging a tree. "what stupidity!" i thought then. but trust me, it works. i just happened to do just that several years later when i had this HUGE crush on somebody and didn't tell anybody, save a few close friends, about the craze....it helped me to safely discard the time-bomb in me that went tick-tick........ there was also this other instance when i was so full of frustration and anger that i ran to a tree and gave this enormous bear hug. i felt like my emotions were washed away and replaced with the yearning to forgive. trees seem to have some kind of healing power. don't know if it's the aura we've got that helps us stay tuned with mother earth or it's just a feeling of security we get when we hug something that has life........hmmm, or maybe it's just me losing my marbles!

P.S.: maybe i should start a "hug-a-tree" therapy once i'm a qualified shrink........

THE HOSTEL TOUR

yesterday was simply marvellous!...we went for the 2007 year hostel tour and rocked.....all that dancing and singing and acting stupid was fun....
the sun-kissed beach: we jumped when the waves hit the shore and splashed water on each other.........stood on the rocks and took snaps......wrote names on the mud before the waves could wash it off(i even drew a heart with an arrow stuck in it)..........sang like drunkards just like shipwrecked pirates.....
lunch: we sat down beside a small church and had lunch, and then sat on the high rocks and watched the crows come down at the sight of abandoned food and occasionally threw stones at them if they got too near........
jew's village: saw a lot of "strange" people......couldn't categorize them as such.......looked like north indians, spoke both malayalam and broken english, and were rumoured to have jewish blood......there were also a lot of foreigners (who weren't dressed decently enough to enter the holy place of worship of the jewish people)..........the accessories were great but costed the earth....
boating and willington island: saw a lot of large cargo ships and navy ships......saw the vehicle that was built during the indian-pak war and was programmed to set-off missiles.....saw dolphins(greyish-blue ones) which is usually a rare sight and made us all shout with glee....went to the loermost cabin on the boat with two other conspirators and re-emerged outside(through a small hole in the cabin) so that we were able to lean against the lower-most railing and almost touch the sea water(we were nearly grounded for that.....our guide was scared to death man!.........he said that if the police sees it, they'd send him to jail).....

SUCKER!!

I’ve been thinking a lot about “suckers”, lately…you know, those kind of people who’d do anything to be influential and famous and admired by everyone and anyone and try to be the centre of attraction, all at once….they come in many forms, mind you….
Type A (the beggar):
I’ll do anything for you, provided you loooooooveeeee me ….and hey, you can use me as your door mat too to rub your feet on….i’ll do anything my love but just give me a little of your love….pleeeeeease! (yuck!sucks big time!)

Type B (the joker):

I'm ready to make myself a fool in front of everybody and anybody...hey, what better and easier way of being popular....i mean nobody can forget about the funny guy/gal who pokes jokes on others even though it hurts others at times....and you don't need brains for it...... (get a life, man!)

Type C (the false egoist):

The world is waiting for a dynamic person like me....i'm beautiful, talented and have the charm....everybodyelse is dumb, stupid and ugly......just one smile, a simple word and that guy/gal will fall at my feet..... (have a good look at your inner self and you'll realise how ugly you actually are!)

Type D (the diplomat):

you flatter me and make me known, and i'll do the same for you....(you're wasting your time)

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living with psychotis and neurotics

AWWWW! it's an effort to write in my blog nowadays.for one thing, i can't think properly.(must be having some kind of thought disorder, or is it because i had to take a detailed seminar on thought disorders, i'm thinking that way?) another reason is, i don't really know how safe it is to write things on the blog anymore?....i mean, it's real creepy and utterly confusing.....anyways, here goes........(holding my breath)..today was an awesome day...especially when considering the fact that we had two sucking tests, a confusing practical assignment to complete, and i had an impossible seminar to take and all of us got through it without much of a fuss....well, like they say, "all's well that end's well"...the crowning glory came when Mr. Doctor(don't mistake him for my family doctor...Mr.Doctor is a qualified doctor and a fellow classmate) gave us all a treat at the end of the day......Mr.Optimistic was particularly funny too today....apart from a few comments that totally changed my mood(aha, dark clouds gathering in the sky!), i'll never forget those innocent round eyes that questioningly looked at the rest of us while we were in fits of laughter because of the entire absurdity of the situation........

well, it all began when we were dreading to write a test on the central nervous system(coz we hadn't prepared for it, as usual)...when we suggested to the teacher in-charge that we'd simply discuss what we've learnt (we ended up reading out everything from the assignment sheet we were all clinging on to like dear life ) and help each other out if one of us missed a particular point.....Mr. Optimistic had no idea about what was written where...poor thing.....when asked to list out the functions of the central nervous system, he says in a hesistant small voice,"1st function....m.......hmmm..........motor function" and tries to get a secretive peep into Mr.Doctor's laptop..........when the teacher in-charge smiles knowingly and says , " be more clear about it"(as in, please elaborate), the great Mr. Optimistic clears his throat, sits up straight and says,......." MOTOR CO-ORDINATION".......awww man! the entire situation and atmosphere seemed so funny and ridiculous that all of us, including the teacher who vowed to keep her face straight, were howling.......

i even played a nice game of badminton after coming back from college......with my hands windmilling in opposite directions, i managed to hit the cursed cock a good number of times.....hurray!!.........and now, it's about time to snuggle in bed and read the book my big bro gifted me......ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

AN ORDINARY DAY

today was a really ordinary day...missed the morning prayer as usual and tried hard hiding behind dharshana so that sister(bless her name) won't ask why i wasn't there for the morning prayer...tried to swallow the upumau that threatened to get stuck in my throat like fevicol...stuffed all the books on my table and hurried off to college...slept in class with my eyes open...and freaked around when teachers were not around (my classmates are simply cool in that aspect)...

the last two lab hours weren't so bad though...our teacher in-charge made the big mistake of leaving us all alone in the lab...that's when everyone started being REALLY innovative...my contribution was a drawing on kiran's stinking feet(ugh!)...told him not to take a bath before taking a nice clear picture of my work of art...

P.S. : special thanks to kiran for giving me the permission to publish the picture of his "royal" feet...

BACK TO COLLEGE LIFE!

since classes have started and i'm back in college, i can't help but think of a list of things to write posts on...i've got a whole new bunch of classmates now(i.e. almost-two of them were my old classmates), and it's like starting all over again... somehow everything is different, even though the college is the same...for one thing, there's just 11 of us, all seated around a single large table, very much like a conference table, with the teacher seated at the head. another major difference is that we've got to take classes since each of us are assigned a topic in every subject and are given marks on the basis of the seminars we present and the assignments we submit. since most of us are taking our first blundering steps in this area, there's quite a lot of funny things happening during each presentation if one is able to look at the humourous side of it...maybe i shouldn't speak out my mind at the moment...don't wanna make enemies of the few new friends i've just got...that ain't right...

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night!

well, it's time to go back to the place i call my third home... surprisingly technology finds it hard to thrive there and whatever techie advancements are being made, slowly deteoriates...frequent power cuts, the motor out of order, phone always dead, computer almost NEVER works...the list can go on. to top it all, none of us are allowed to use any kind of electronic gadgets unless we've got to do calculations (red lights-EMERGENCY!!!woooouuwww woooouuuwww) and are in need of the calculator. sniff!!sniff!!!i'm gonna embrace the pre-historic means of communication for a few months(till christmas hols starts). uga buga ega!
GOD HELP ME!

YOU HYPOCRITE!!!

the priest: "please repeat the prayer after me...it's the Lord's prayer...say it with your heart..."

priest: OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN

yo hoooo, is anybody home...(waving hands)

priest: HALLOWED BE THY NAME

o yea, hi ya!

priest: THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE

u've got a gr8 kingdom out there, and is it ur will that i remain all cooped up at home doing absolutely nothing?

priest: ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

oh gr8! u'll allot a room for me in heaven(after i die) and command that i stay there and go nowhere else

priest: GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD

and by the way, once i go back to the hostel, i'm in great need of good food,

priest: AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES

i've done a lot of sins, i know,

priest: AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US

and don't forgive me the way i forgive my offenders. it's as good as turning your back away from me and walking away

priest: AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

awwww, how i feel like giving that snobbish girl a biting remark!

priest: BUT DELIVER US FROM ALL EVIL. AMEN.

but if you think it'll get me into trouble, aaahhhh forget it, i've got enough and more problems to deal with. amen. (can i do it anyways, huh, huh?)

priest: GLORY BE TO THE .......

i make the sign of the cross and join my hands in prayer with a quirky smile....

i'll do it anyways, she deserves it don't you think...i mean, seriously, who does she think she is,...and by the way, i forgot to say, love ya!

the priest: GOOD! NEXT TIME YOU SAY THE "OUR FATHER" SAY IT SLOWLY AND WITH SOME MEANING IN IT! WE ARE NOT MACHINE-GUNS...

THE DAY I DANCED WITH MUM

when mum decided to move to the hostel i vehemently rebelled. i couldn't even imagine my mum staying in the hostel with me for 3 whole months (the last 3) and that too in the same place as my friends. mum staying with me would mean answering questions like, "aren't you feeling well?", "is she staying to make sure you study for the final exams?", "don't you guys have a home out there?", "is your mum planning to be a nun and stay with the sisters here?", etc...well, for those who don't know, this is the true story: i've been becoming progressively weaker and was finding it difficult to find proper iron, vitamins, minerals, proteins, carbohydrates, etc. needed to recuperate in the food served in the hostel...nothing serious really. everyone else seemed to be surviving and i could've done it on my own, if i tried just a little bit more. and there were just 3 to 4 months left. i could've held on. but the final decision was made, when i came home for christmas holidays and my pap and mum saw that i was more or less walking around like an anaemic zombie (do zombies have blood, by the way?). mum tried reasoning with me by pointing out to the fact that i needed her and that with my final and most important exams (of degree) round the corner, i'll be needing extra help and support. when i broke the news to my friends all of them were shocked. nobody's mum, in the entire hostel history, stayed with her daughter to look after her. if somebody is unwell, they'd either be taken home or discontinue the course or...anything else but this. since the hostel is particularly meant for the students studying in our college, i winced when thinking about what would happen if my juniors got to know. here i am, a girl in her final year and in the senior-most batch, being looked after by her mum. what depressed me the most was the fact that i would have to renounce all my "bad" deeds and act like a saint in front of mum(wings, halo and all). the thought of sitting in my room with mum and only studying 24/7 was horrifying. ofcourse, that was what everybody was expected to do with all the workload we had (project work, practicals, notes to submit, seminars to present, and worst of all, exams to prepare for). but that's not how my brain works. while studying, i've got to walk around to refresh my brains, crack a joke or two, shout at somebody, make the nerds of my class tense by telling them that i've studied more or know more(when in actual fact it's far from the truth), sneak to my gang's meeting place and play cards(a thing i've got seriously addicted to)etc...

MONTHS LATER......

my exams got over a few months back, my results came out two months back and i'm doing Master's (Post Graduation) now. Writing about mum's stay in the hostel will take a long time and effort. But i just want to fill in the gap by saying that i've been closing my eyes to all what my mum did for me and for my family. it makes my eyes water just thinking about what she went through when she was my age, about the things she is willing to go through even now for the sake of the family's peace and about the things she thinks she's protecting me from... understanding your own parents may be difficult, but it's always nice to keep in mind that, whatever said and done, they deserve atleast a little respect from us...i got amazing marks at the end-just a few marks behind those of the top rankers...and when the others congratulate me and remark on how awesome my marks are, i can't help saying "thankyou mum"...

P.S.-why the title?well i started writing this post to just mention about the day i and my mum did this small dance jig together...but then there was a long break and i had to either continue writing about it or completely delete the post...i didn't feel like doing the latter and so i made a hasty ending...i didn't feel like erasing the title either...he he...i can be sentimentally odd at times, i know...

THE TAGGY BUG AGAIN!

My big bro tagged me (Rejoy is his name, for those who don't know). i've got to write seven very interesting things about me, myself and i. okay brain cells, let's exercise...1, 2 ,3 gooooooo......

1) i'm a lefty...i've written about it already and i'm not going to bore you with the details again.

2) i've got a peculiar type of reading disability...can't understand anything related to studies, you see...unless it's one week before the final exams...

3) i like to wish on the stars...did it work?....hmmm, dunno i never cud remember any of the wishes i made...

4) people say i look like a brainy and the kind of person who likes to study even when the only time i use my study materials is when i need to rest my head on something and sleep without a guilty conscience ( you can't say i didn't try )

5) i've got teeth that resembles those of bugs bunny

6) i sleep for half the day and for the rest half, walk in a trance...yea, i'm addicted to sleep...i've even slept through the most interesting classes in college...there was this another incident in which we had a major inter-collegiate singing competition and i slept through the last rehearsal my group did just minutes before going on-stage...boy!were the rest of them mad at me or what!

7) cards and music are my weak points...

okie dokie...now it's my turnie....i tag (drum beats).... maggie (atleast in this way you'll post something), ram(told ya i'll get back at ya), edwin (hey, go on write please?), shrutz (strike the right chords and make music), kedhar(haven't heard from you for a long time), rose(sorry, didn't have anyone else to tag), peenuts (ata boy!)....

Gosh! i'll just get over with it now... Mr.Ram tagged me for everybody's kind information and so here goes...

1. Which song is being played in your mind rite NOW?


Ordinary Day-Vanessa Carlton....Why? coz i'm BORED!


2. One song that describes your life.... (no self made compositions please!)


Time of Your Life-Green Day...Why again? i seem to be wishing everyone around me the best, and all of them seem to be getting what they want while i'm stuck here in a place i very much want to get away from.

3. The song you listen to most on your i-pod/ MP3/ cell/ PC/ etc


Breathless-the corrs... why yet again?i never get bored of the beats

4. A song that describes best the following stages in your life:
School days - as long as you love me - BSB
Friends - wannabe-by spice girls
Your mood rite now - Numb - linkin park

5. Your all time favorite song, and the reason for it... maybe some memory/ some funny story/etc!!!

1000 miles-Vanessa Carlton...naaa, not giving the reason for this one

6. A song you wish you hadn't heard!!!

can't think of any right now....bang!bang! sorry but my brains ain't working

7. A song that would best describe..... me (hey, I took pains to tag you, I guess I deserve this ;-) )

Hey there delilah-Plain White T's...tis the kind of song i suppose, u wud sing 2 ur girlfriend...the singer sounds oh sooooo lazy but genuine...

8. (I just cudn't miss this!!!) If you were in an elevator with Himesh Reshammiya and Altaf Raja, you would..........(plz plz plz..... something funny!!!)
naaaa, i'm findin it difficult to b funny @ da moment...have no clue who they r....n soo i'm not answerin this one....

hehe now here goes...
i'm gonna tag ajan and rose (ur turn big sissy. let's make this grand)

WHY DO WE SMILE OR LAUGH?

SCENE 1

bringing a cute kid to a girl's -only hostel is the biggest mistake a mum can do to her kid. well, it so happened that once while me and my buddies were sitting down to have tea, in comes the hero of the day- bright pink cheeks, a winning smile, eyes you could simply drown yourself into, and a cute chuckle that made us all go ga-ga. we crowded round the unfortunate little baby and tried making it laugh and play and make gurgling sounds. looking back at the incident, i can't help but wonder if the adorable little baby got all muddled up about how somebody ought to communicate..."i did all this and mum told me to speak more clearer with proper manners"...

all of us try to make it laugh but none of us suceeds. my buddy sree(the laziest of us) says, "oh shucks! dunno why all of you are actually bothering to make it smile. they say babies smile only if they are frightened." i look at her and roll my eyes with the remark,"you're just lazy to make it laugh". Just then shru gives the baby her million dollar smile (braces and all), and those delicate lips curl at the edges, those misty eyes twinkles and we hush up to see those pink cheeks glow and listen to it laugh...for an entire minute the cute thing was brave enough to sustain that smile...and then, to our horror Mr. Baby crumbles it's face and lets out a heart wrenching wail...wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! "told ya" murmurs sree.



SCENE 2

i'm walking in the streets of bangalore with big bro and we exchange important information...we talk about various things we've observed in life, about what we would like to do and be....big bro gives me advice about how guys actually feel about girls and at the same time asks me genuine doubts about why girls act really peculiar at times. "you know what? i've noticed that girls laugh to impress guys and indicate to them that they are interested and not because they think what the guys say is funny."says big bro in a philosophical tone. that statement startles me and i go back to the moments i laughed at silly jokes and unconsciously prayed that none of the guys i laughed with thought the same. i shake my head but don't know what to say because i've never thought of it that way...maybeee.....afterall didn't Frued say we've got unconscious biological drives in all of us....i give my head a thorough shake to clear my head of those thoughts...if i dwell too much, i very well know that the next time i'm with my friends i'll be smirking at everyone's jokes instead of giving it my all....

SCENE 3
i'm back in college and quite bored with life....all my friends have gone to do their master's some place else, while i'm stuck in the same old college...i stroll outside the library and come face to face with a classmate of mine who i am not very much fond of.....she introduces me to her mum saying, "remember mum, Reni? i've told you a lot about her..." i stretch my lips and try to make the sides of my lips curve to manage to make it atleast look like a smile and at the same time wonder about what nasty things she must've said about me. i was just smiling to look polite.....nothing else...

I'M BACK!!!

hey guys, i'm back.......don't miss me too much....this is an era when people can come back to life and all that shit....yea, was refering to the last book of Harry Potter...i mean, i liked the story line and everything but get real!! coming back to life?!!! Cheero! i still like the book though, coz tis a story in which the Good eventually triumphs.
anyways, i feel like i've resurrected to life...i'm gonna blog as often as i can from now on...i'm still in the hostel, but the comp (in the hostel) is finally working and i can blog away to glory on weekends...

BEING A "LEFTY"

I don't really know when or who first asked the question, "you write and eat with your left hand?". all i know is that i've always been writing, am writing and will be writing with my left hand (unless i break my left hand somehow). my family has accepted me as normal, while my friends in school thought it was totally cool to be a left-hander. there were a few teachers and relatives who thought that i was just being totally fussy and stubborn and that i could've learnt to write with the "proper" hand if i tried. when questioned (when just a kid), i used to feel awkward and look at mum (if she's around). mum would calmly explain that there's nothing wrong in writing with the left hand, and that there are many cases in which people happened to be a left hander... (complete explanation with scientific proof and all). once school was over and i was to settle in the hostel, i vaguely wondered what people there would think. my first meal experience wasn't pleasant. when i sat down with my plate and started to eat(trust me, i felt like i was condemned to the central prison), a few girls noticed something was seriously odd about me (i guess they couldn't point out the oddity right away because i was a completely weird person by nature). after a few silent moments (during which i was trying to eat peacefully and not worry about the futur), one of them says, " you are eating with your left hand!", with an expression that conveyed the message-yew!disgusting! i remember turning all red like a tomato and thanking the heavens above that the lighting system in the hostel is not so good (only later did i know that there were enough tube-lights to brighten up the mess hall, but we are allowed to switch on only 2 of them to save electricity). as all heads turn to me, i act as if i don't care and say casually that there is nothing wrong in being a lefty while inside, i felt like strangling the girl by her throat. inspite of my own stubborness, i eventually learnt how to eat with my right hand (i haven't reached perfection, though...i shove the food inside with my right hand, the way a tractor would shove mud), simply to avoid questions like, "but why do you eat with the left hand when everyone else eats with their right?"....."hhmmm, so does that mean you clean your butt with the right hand?"...."are you a lefty so that people will think you are cool?"..."okay, so that means the right side of your brain works more, huh?"...etc...

there are times when i get totally confused about which hand is which and eat with my left. but now,it does not disturb me anymore when people ask(trust me, most of them are sooooo narrow-minded) because i've reached a stage in which i have a vague idea of what i want to be one day,...and being a righty is not in the list.

THE USES OF NEEM

for months i've been living in every girl's nightmare -the horrors of living with a great infestation of hair-lice. these horrid insects won't simply get off me. what makes matters worse is the fact that my hair has the right environment needed for lice to breed rapidly (at times i go... scratch! scratch! scratch!). so finally, when i came back home after college was done with, one of the first resolutions that my mum made (for me...mum's always doing good things for my sake) was to totally eradicate all those crawling pests in her poor baby's head. i gave in, ofcourse. even i was eager to lead a free life again. but the price i had to pay for it was big. mum got to know from an aunty that neem is good for eradicating lice. putting that tip into practice, would mean to make a paste out of the neem leaves and then apply it on the head for atleast half an hour. since mum knew that walking around with green gooey stuff on my head for half an hour is simply not practical in my case, ("it'll drip down and make the entire place dirty?") she compromised on making me have a hair-bath with it every morning(as in, using the neem leaves' paste as a shampoo). we tried it, and it worked. soon the lice and it's eggs started decreasing in number and it reduced so much that it was difficult to even find one. mum became euphoric when she found how effective neem was and she told it to everybody she interacted with. "all's well that ends well", one would say. but it does not end there....

it so happened that last week i read in the weekend magazine about the different uses of neem, it's importance in ayurvedic medicine and the like. it seems neem is good for the stomach, for mouth hygiene, the skin, the hair,etc....(you wouldn't believe the big list of advantages). i tore off the 4paged article and gave it to mum for keeping (mum beamed at it, the way a child would if a stuffed xmas pappa gave him a present). a few days later, i unconsciously scratch my head while deep in thought and my mum's sharp eyes notes it.

mum: you are scratching your head again.

me: huh?....yea, i was just thinking...you know...scratching my head while deep in thought...to keep my brains working...

mum(doesn't listen to my explanation): i was thinking...maybe you should apply neem on your hair for a few more days, just in case it comes back...we should make sure we've completely eradicated it.

i gloomily look at her realising that she might be right (as always) and at the same time feeling lazy to go through the ritual again. the next day, i wake up to a chirpy morning and go to the kitchen where i catch my mum red-handed munching on neem leaves ("mmmmph...guoof for da fomacch....mmmmfmph"). while munching on the leaves she hands me a bowl with "neem shampoo". i go for the bath and i'm soon covered with green, slimy,gooey stuff, feeling very much like "swamp- thing".

RICKETY- CRICK, RICKETY- CRICK
comb your hair girl!
it'll make you look more like a girl
more neat, like a girl could
more pretty, the way a girl should
more graceful, the way a girl would
comb your hair girl!
RICKETY-CRICK, RICKETY-CRICK

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do not indulge too much in beauty magazines... it'll make you feel ugly.....

living with psychotics and neurotics(part 5)

i never knew what a mime was until i joined college. it all started when the 1st years were asked to perform atleast any one item on stage. while i (a 1st year then) was going through the list of items....dance(i'd most probably be trying desperately to co-ordinate all my body parts at once and not succeed)....music(hmmm, naaa...i just know the basics of the piano....sing a song?ok, provided someone agrees to sing an english one with me)....drama(i'd have to wear a mask to hide the stupid smirk on my face whenever i pronounce malayalam words the wrong way)....kathakali(whatever that is!)....etc....MIME! (what on earth is that!). well, as time was falling short and i had to figure out some way of getting on stage and flourishing some kind of talent (and not embarassing myself at the same time) i started to panic. i remember feeling so left out. it wasn't like this in school...i was totally myself and had no trouble fitting in or being involved, before....but then, that was school and in a totally different country, things are different...

a classmate of mine(a girl who likes bossing people around...she's got a sweet element in her though) walks upto me and asks me if i'm willing to join her. we go around and collect all the girls in our class who aren't involved in any of the items and form a group. i look around and say, "great! now what do we do?".

want to know what happened next?....we went around trying to find out what exactly a mime is, tried to figure out the rules, scratched our heads for a theme, jotted down the role of each character in it, did a little of co-ordination control, and voilà!....we had a mime presentation ready.but we hadn't overcome the greatest challenge - making the audience understand the message we wish to convey. some of our caring friends agreed to sit through the 3mins presentation and comment on it and well,...they didn't understand a thing...

Note: for those wondering what a mime is, here goes:

"acting using only gesture and action: a style of performance in which people act out situations or portray characters using only gestures, facial expressions, and actions. In the popular imagination, mimes are thought of as having a uniform costume that includes black and white horizontal striped clothes, suspenders, a formal black top hat or beret, formal white gloves (to highlight the motions of the hands), and white face paint (similar to that used by a clown), with some accents in black. "

contd...

we tried on new expressions and actions and tried to introduce a little gymnasium into it(which didn't work because none of us had really elegant and flexible bodies) to make the damn thing more understandable. nothing seemed to work though. another fear that crept into me was whether i'd be confident enough to perform it on stage in front of an entire crowd(i've got stage fright)...what was worse, was the fact that i was the main character in each scene, and if i screwed it up, i'll be ruining the entire show, which means we'll be losing points, they'll blame the entire thing on me and.......aaaaaaaahhhhh...i'm in a MESS!. above all, i simply HATED MIME!!

finally, it was time for us to perform, i just closed my eyes, said a prayer, and entered the stage platform...and just did everything i was supposed to....and returned backstage gasping(everyone who performed with me were gasping too, i realised. we were the bunch of kids in class who had very little confidence in ourselves, then.) we got the first place for our presentation(we realised that the 1st years in the other classes were as clueless as us about what exactly a mime is)...

the rest is history....every mime show that came up, i was always involved....later, when i became a senior, i was always the in-charge....

i still don't like and am not interested in mime. i still don't know what the right actions are to be used and the right way to express it is. even now, it's the other people in the group who actually give innovative ideas...ideas more better than my own. but one thing is true. i'm less scared of walking on stage now and that was the first hurdle i had to pass to become more confident and to have faith in myself. i've also learnt a little in group dynamics and socialising from this experience...